You're here!

Dear baby,
You've arrived! We are so happy to have you here with us and for you to have joined our family. Giving birth to you was THE MOST physically demanding and difficult thing I've ever done. I gave birth to you in our home in our bathtub and it was absolutely incredible. I woke up on the 15th with some contractions every 10-20 mins lasting a min long but they didn't progress too much. Around 4pm things started picking up - I contacted my midwife - Gengi, but told her not to come yet and that I would probably be contacting her early the next morning or later that night.
Around 2:45 am on the 16th I woke up with a few stronger contractions but not too bad every 10 mins - I went to the bathroom and had bloody show. At that point I knew you would be born that day. I thought outloud, "yep, this is it!" About an hour later I called Gengi and told her that I believed you were coming and that contractions were getting stronger and closer - then 5 mins apart.
Only about a half hour later I called Gengi back to ask her to send the student midwife since my contractions were getting more intense and they hurt more. So she called Karissa and asked her to please come (she lives closer than Gengi does so Gengi was still on her way).
Once Karissa arrived my contractions jumped to 2-3 mins apart and were definitely intense.
Gengi came and I labored for another hour before she checked me and I was in active labor, close to transitioning, she told me I should get up to help you come down.
I then got up and went with your daddy and labored on the toilet or leaning onto the sink in the bathroom. After maybe 45 mins of that I decided to get into the tub.

About an hour and a half labor of INTENSE, very painful labor I gave birth to you with the help of Gengi and your daddy mostly. Karissa was keeping track of your heart decels.
I almost gave up about a half hour in after getting into the tub. I started crying and saying I needed help, I needed the hospital, and I needed the epidural because the pain was too severe I didn't believe I could handle it anymore. Gengi offered to check me and I let her, I was almost ready to push so I decided to stick it out - I was SO close. Pushing was so crazy and intense and I can't believe I got through it and brought you here, Earthside with us.

Only like 5-10 mins before you were born I said, "I'm not here, I'm getting stuck somewhere else". I felt pretty disoriented and as if I was not able to breathe. I felt still present but at the same time - spiritually disconnected. It is my belief that at this time I traveled to the spirit world to help guide you back to our plane and I was getting "lost". But Gengi lead me back and then very shortly after she placed you right up on my chest.
I cried instantly.
I did it and you were finally here with us.
I cried and cried and then I asked if you were ok. Gengi replied that you were perfect.
I held onto you and you just snuggled right into me.
You were born April 16th on your great great grandmothers birthday <3 at 9:13 am.
Shortly after I got out of the tub and we made our way to the bed. And we began our journey together.

Your daddy and I decided to name you Althea. Althea Patience.
Althea means - the bringer of healing/healer. You've helped me heal in so many ways, you've helped me face so much throughout this pregnancy and birth, and I believe I will continue healing with you in my life. <3 And Patience lol because at 30 weeks I had preterm labor stopped then at 37+5 I had early labor for 10 hours which just stopped. Then you decided to hold on until 40+2 lol So I had to have a LOT of Patience. haha
You were born 7lbs 12 oz and 21 inches long!

We love you very very much Althea, and we can not wait to experience you in our lives each day. <3
Love, Mommy

waiting on you to arrive

Dear baby daughter,
You're estimated to arrive tomorrow. I'm growing quite impatient to meet you. I so badly want to hold you in my arms, kiss and love on you, nurse you, and love you.
I want you to know that it's safe to come, that I will always protect you, keep your safe, and love you. I promise to always be the best mommy I can be and to never stop learning so I can grow with you and your siblings.
I love you so much already, beyond what I can put into words.
My pregnancy with you has flown by quickly but now it feels as if it's dragging on due to my impatience.
Today I threw the name Althea at your daddy - we like that one too, it means "one who brings healing" which is fitting. We also are considering Patience as your middle name as that too is fitting.
We will have to wait to meet you, get to know you, and then we will decide on your name. Hopefully you'll be able to let us know which name fits you best. <3
Your brother and sister are so excited to meet you as well - although, Lailah isn't here right now. She won't be here until the 23rd - she went on a cruise with Mamee and the rest of the family (besides daddy, Noel, and myself). She's very anxious and happy to meet you soon though. Noel is also so excited to meet you and get to know you. <3
We are waiting and waiting and waiting for you and we will continue waiting until you're ready. <3
Love, mommy

39 weeks + 3 days.

Dear new baby daughter,
You haven't made your arrival yet but I am anxious to meet you. I haven't written in a long time, since the middle of my pregnancy.. and now you're due any day now. You're edd is on Saturday - in 4 days. I keep hoping you'll come sooner but it seems like you want to hold onto staying within me.
You get hiccups a few times a day and you practice breathing a few times a day as well. I wish I could catch the practice breathing on video but you only do it about 5 or 6 times before you stop. It's definitely fascinating and I never experienced it in other pregnancies before. It's a rhythmic breathing sensation of up - down - up - down, your whole body moving, making my whole belly move along with you.
You're getting quite heavy in there, my skin feels like it's about to tear open lol.
You're worth it though.
Daddy and I have become uncertain with your name. We originally were going to name you Verity Moranda... but since we've become unsure if that is who you are. I've become spiritually drawn to the name Dalia for you - the goddess of luck, childbirth, and fate. I have no idea about a middle name for that name though. Other names we've tossed around are Gaia, Evangeline, Serenity, and Tesla.
We're going to wait to meet you before we name you, we want to talk to you and get to know you a bit and then see who you are. Hopefully we can tune in spiritually and name you well.
We love you very much already and I - at least - am awaiting your arrival not so patiently. I really wish to meet you soon but I know you'll arrive precisely when you're ready and meant to.